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The Ratio of Freckles to StarsI thought I could look for you
With the sky in my eyes,
And find you
In your stare like the earth,
And dig into you,
With shovels and spades and rakes and hands and claws and teeth and tears.

I was hoping I could take
A needle and a thread
And find a way to mend everything
That was broken.

I’ll burrow into your mind,
I’ll grab your sides,
I’ll tear at you
And find my place in the emptiness of your arms.

So wait just a moment
So we can sync our heartbeats,
So I can count and figure out
The ratio of your freckles to stars.

Freckles to stars,
And our beating hearts,
And the way we’re perfect,
Just the way we are.

Love meTime of pained heart never fades.
With a new sun, it breaks apart.
Oh, please, make me well.
Understand my hurt inside.
To the withered voice,
It echoes once more.

Memories of the past flow wildly
A wind of cold, of ice and blood
A knife that cuts my own flesh
A thought of then and when
Oh, please, I beg silently
Love me for who I am
For what I want
For what I have become

Institution."No daddy!"
"Stop, please!"
"I promise I'll be good!"
I begged.
I screamed.
I cried.
And nothing.
"I'm sorry."
And walked away.
Left me there.
Alone.
With those animals.
Don't tell me what to do.
There's nothing wrong with me.
It's all in these pyschos.
No, I won't wear a dress.
No, I won't put on makeup.
No, I won't conform!
To your stupid rules!
To your stupid guidelines!
Electric shock me all you want!
Right until I'm brain dead!
I'm not crazy!
You're the crazy ones!
I don't need no damn girly shit!
I'm perfect the way I am!
There's nothing wrong with me!
Please!
Just let me be!

Ode to sadness (Spirit day 2012)Fear. Claiming the mind.

Its only a matter of time...

Even the strong ones break...

And the sad ones shake...

The yelling gets too loud...

The monsters are so proud...

You; yes you! Are the one who back them in the corner...

You're the one who slammed them through the border...

You don't see how much that effects everyone else...

You just laughed; continuing the assault ...

You weren't the one who walked into the result...

You weren't there to hold their mothers hand...

As she watched her child returned to the land.

They aren't easy to replace...

Which is why it all ends with you in a bad place.

Hate is such a nasty thing.

Tha

Discarded.You cry for your sorrows and you bleed for your dreams,
Just always remember, this world is not what it seems.
You can be the best of friends and then disappear,
They'll just discard you, I know it's hard to hear.

But this has happened enough to me,
It's all everyone's been doing recently.
So here I lie, discarded, fearing to stand up,
Because what waits just isn't worth getting up.

Thrown away and lying in a puddle of mud and blood,
All the other times I got up, and wiped off the mud.
But this time, as I lie here, broken and bloody,
I don't want to get up, I want to be a dead body.

I know getting up is inevitable, because I will never give in,
But I really just want to give up and say that "I'm done in."

Real DreamsOpen your eyes up
Because here it is
The most perfect thing
Is standing next to me

Have you ever had a dream
A small pocket fantasy
Assume it won't happen
Delightfully proven wrong

Lips touching
Eyes closed
Heart racing
Life on standby

Everything is brighter
Everything is better
Everything is perfect
Because of these moments

Energy isn't supposed to work like this
But
But we seem to have created more
Love broke physics rules, and fuck that anyway when

When you've got a pretty girl
And the night is a little cold
And people are dressed in costumes
And maybe, just maybe

So, maybe things are going exactly as you dreamed
A

Crush

Crush

It's my world
These are my shoulders

It's my burden
These are my problems

It's my life
These are the tears I cry

It's my truth
These are my last moments with you
-
When you said those words
My vision got blurry

I know
You're sorry

We couldn't be "us" anymore
It divides me

Double-edged love / I needed you so much
You're all I really got / Without you- I'm lost

When you walked away
I met the ground

I felt a ripping pain
A deafening sound

I won't get up again
This is my place now
-
This is me on my knees
Let me be weak

This is me breaking down
Let me cry out

This is me at my worst
Let me be hurt

This is me cr

:.Grief.:My heart's aching,
My soul is breaking,
My mind baking,
My words skating.

I'm sorry for all that I've done, my dear,
But do not cry,
Do not fear.
I am here, I am not sly.

Twisting around and around,
Here we go again,
The pathway down, down, down,
Trying to make amends.

All I have left to say,
Is that I apologize,
For putting the knife to slay,
Our broken butterflies.

Flawed Salvation

Flawed Salvation

/Liquid fire\
Sorrow melts and reforms
As heat seeps through my skin
/Frozen water\
Reflections of my childhood are torn
As frost settles on me once again
-
Restless echoes ramble on
Retelling me the stories of yesterday
I remember when my courage was withdrawn
"And you left yourself vulnerable to those crimes of hate."

The liquidsparks flicker
And I wince at that one memory
Then my inner voice suddenly stutters
"I don't know h-how you survived such t-treachery."

Snowflakes descend gracefully
As a cold-burning tear rolls down
I will never know real serenity
"Because all I will ever have is my own."
-
/Br

Promises Of Today

Promises Of Today

The sands of time can be unpredictable
But to mold them is impossible
And being let down is typical

I, for one, know what it's like
Having that unrelenting doubt dwell inside
And withstanding all of those tears that aren't dried

With that said
I want to help you, my dear friend
For the hope of happiness is within the reach of your hands
-
I need to apologize for not always being there
It's because I have my own slate
But now I'm finally here
I'm sorry I'm late

I've been where you are
I've seen what you've seen
And I was able to break through the dark
But I'll go back for you, just to help you believe

That

38. trustIt is a matter of perception
And is also a matter of interpretation
Trust, a funny thing it truly is
But how do we live our lives around it?

Do you trust me because you know me
Or is that the reason for your distrust?

You have parts of me
That no one else will ever have
But you seem to be unaware
Or is it just not enough?

I trusted you because you never gave me a reason not to
But now that you have, how do I piece it back together?

I am lost in my mind
As the realizations set in
What I had not seen at first
Is slowly setting in

Is it worse to have suspicion though nothing done
Or betray promises made to seek your own truth?

We Are What We Repeatedly Do.I am laughter.
I am song.
I am deception.
I am wrong.
I am gossip.
I am shame.
I am anger.
I am pain.
I am kindness.
I am light.
I am goodness.
I am right.
I am envy.
I am sin.
I am hatred.
I am gin.
I am charity.
I am truth.
I am promise.
I am youth.
I am neglect.
I am dope.
I am progress.
I am hope.

Lonely at NightI reach out my hand to where yours should be
But the only thing I feel is the soft, cushiony
Surface of my pillow lying beside me
I wish I could give you a hug
I just want to love you
I feel like I've caught a bug
I don't know what to do

Out To SeeI sat on the cliff,
Plucking petals from posies
Watching them fall
And land on the sea.

I wondered, I pondered
Whither you wandered
When I set you free,
To explore the sea.

You said, you promised
To return
Before the moon was full

So, I sat on the cliff,
Plucking petals from posies
Watching them fall
And land on the sea.

When you told me
I cried,
I remember it well
You tried to comfort me,
But I couldn't stop

You said, you promised
To return
Before the moon was full

I sat up all night,
Taking solace
From the soft touch of the stars

And I sat up
And waited
I plucked petals
I waited so long
The moon was so full

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More from ~Junkie4Janet

Beyond WordsYour goodness can't be beat
What you do is no small feat
No man can compare,
And I wouldn't even dare

You've been so good to me
You're the one who set me free
I am no longer bound
You should be world renowned

You've provided for us all
So that we may all stand tall

Though my words cannot describe
I hope you catch my vibe

AcheMy heart aches for you
I don't know what to do
My soul says go
But where?
I don't know
My mind tells me to stay
But I want to run away
My heart is full of sorrow
Please come back to me tomorrow
Though I want you here today
All time blends when you're away

HeartIt weeps,
It bleeds
It pleads,
It needs,
Do they hear?
Do they give ear?
No; they say pain is mere.
If only my end were near.
If only I couldn't hear.
Then their words wouldn't ring so loud,
And then they wouldn't be so proud.

Visitation From DeathDeath came knocking at my door
Dressed in red velvet and velou
I let her in happily
(She entered rather rapidly)
We had some tea
And a little cake
I had hoped to get her off my case free
(She had another plan for me)
Luckily I showed her out and closed the door
Upon closing it, I noticed that which left me unsure
Picking it up I saw....
It was her red velvet and velour

BeautifulWhen we meet,
It will be no small feat
But fate,
My mind was clouded with hate
You came came around and cleared the air
And left me in despair...
Or so I thought
I fought it all the way
Until that wonderful day
Then I'd hoped you'd come to stay
When we met, I knew
All of my dreams had come true
Your style,
Your class,
Your smile
Incredible
You're forever burned in my memory

ImprisonmentAs I sat on the floor of my cell
I suddenly realised how well
My heart had formed its shell
Now I was left alone
No family
No friends
No home

It had been eight long years
Filled with blood, sweat and tears
I was drowning in my fears
Surrounded by bitter tears
I can only hope this clears
But I think they'rve been too many years
So here I sit by the door
Watching rats scurry across the floor

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Submitted: November 6, 2012
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A Lover's Longing

by ~Junkie4Janet, Nov 6, 2012, 10:08:39 AM
Literature / Poetry / Romantic / General / Free Verse

I don't think I'll find peace
Until you're here with me
When my body can physically feel
What the Universe has made to be

Every time I hear your voice
I get a shiver up my spine
I giggle like a schoolgirl
Living out adolescence in its prime

I don't think I'll love another
Quite as much as I love you
Sheerly because we're best friends
And are alike in so much that we do

I hug my pillow at night
Wishing it were you instead
Crying the driest tears
That leave no stains upon my bed

I wish I were with you every day
That I may express my love for you
In a slightly differing sense
Than that which you are used to

A Lover's Longingby ~Junkie4Janet

Literature / Poetry / Romantic / General / Free Verse

Written 11/5/12 10:27pm

love 1 1

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~Gonzalez012997 Jan 20, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

I love this piece a lot. It makes me think of my relationship with my best friend and how want to love him and b the one b his side. The hardest part, I believe, is finding the courage to take that first step even though you know he feels the same. So don't worry I believe that it will all work out or you!